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1. |
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there we are
on a path
along the Tennessee river;
with your teeth bared
and your soft hair, brown-blonde.
there
we
are
on a highway
with an empty gallon water jug
bag wrapped
gas
dragging our feet back to
my dads old Pontiac.
there
we are.
blackberry deep breath
your head rests
on my bare chest
in a dim room
And there’s a soft tune
that’s only heard by you and me
there we are
again
with a gas can
and a fat man
with a good laugh
and a ride back to the exact moment
we fell apart
(we need a new car)
there we are
you are laughing on a ceramic beast
with your hand relaxed on the brass pole
impaling him
our eyes are locked
and in my pocket,
a ring, of all things
there
we
are.
and it’s raining
and we are falling in love again
in front of everyone
I know nothing but your name,
and I know it endlessly,
I know it in my sleep
I know it in the sea that roars beyond and out of me
I know it only,
I know you only,
There we are.
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2. |
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She’s got borderline personality disorder
& in order to get off, she’s gotta see me cry
That’s why we’re hollering all over the house and following each other down,
Spiraling out
I whistle & lie, whisper I wanna die
& hold her against me ‘till the morning
She gets her nails into my skin
& she cums again; writhing and moaning
Hey, you know this world is crazy
It ain’t you and me, baby
We’re just trying to find a way we can feel a little free
Talk in your sleep,
Tell me your secret
I will keep it ‘till we wake
But damn if we ain’t waking
She’s got a vitamin case of vitamin-shaped capsules
Theresa gave her but she shares with me
That’s why we’re keeping sleeping in lately
She hates to wake me
With our muscles still aching
But ain’t that the way we get by, you and I?
You got your straight job
And I got my predilection for climaxing at the same time with Nancy, Nancy, Nancy
Hey, you know this world is crazy
It ain’t you and me, baby
We’re just trying to find a way we can feel a little free
Talk in your sleep,
Tell me your secret
I will keep it ‘till we wake
But damn if we ain’t waking
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3. |
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I’ve been taking the train from the dock to buy guitar strings
Singing songs six days a week I never really liked myself
I’ve been sleeping in late,
Sold a song to a show on the TV
Made a couple bands and spend it on a string of dates
With a penpal I will marry
And the timelines interweave,
Creating patterns that I trace and fall asleep in my parents basement
Take it all apart, it’s part & parcel
I came here with a strange and honest feeling
Chase all of these contradicting versions,
Childhood perversions, & dreams that never steered
Let them drive a little while so that I can disappear
I’ve been living in my car, lost in a flea market, looking for my family
I met a girl in a little cafe and along the way, we fell in love
I kiss her on the mouth in a hammock
We’re headed back down South
Now she’s roaring out a primitive yelp and giving birth
And the timelines interweave,
Creating patterns that I trace and fall asleep underneath a magnolia tree
Take it all apart, it’s part & parcel
I came here with a strange and honest feeling
Chase all of these contradicting versions,
Childhood perversions, & dreams that never steered;
Let them drive a little while so that I can disappear
Into the great unknown, I am nameless
A coward called courageous by virtue of my trade
I will fade on an idea
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4. |
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He was the same as I remembered him
back when we were younger
He stole my breath the moment
We locked eyes across the room
Stayed up all night until the morning caught me
Bitching about the patriarchy
And I played coy to see how high he’d trace my inner thigh
I know he only wants a one night stand
But I’m wishing he would be my man
I know he said it wouldn’t work out and I believed it then but now it’s different
He wants a one night stand
I want a life full of nights with him
I was shy but I was drinking wine
And we were inching towards closing time
Catching up on all them lost years
Of anxiety attacks
He pulled me from my barstool,
A little tipsy
With the radio blaring “Fist City”
Lead me parking lot with his palm atop
The smallness of my back
And he was singing along to that Loretta Lynn song
I know he only wants a one night stand
But I’m wishing he would be my man
I know he said it wouldn’t work out and I believed it then but now it’s different
He wants a one night stand
I want a life full of nights with him
And maybe I’m a little naive baby
But I been ruminating on the ways love has saved me
And when I’m waking in his arms in the morning
Disarmed by the need for him that’s forming
Now we’re sitting on the front porch with coffee
He’s got a touch of cream but I drink mine black
And when I take his hand in mine, he don’t stop me
‘Cause when the timings right you take it in and don’t look back
He got a one night stand,
I got a life full of nights with him
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5. |
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Suppose you showed up Sunday
To sing songs to your Savior
And found the parking spaces
Filled with folks red faced in anger
With homemade signs opining
“your children must be saved
‘Cause your youth group leaders prey on them”
And you feel afraid
Now the place you thought would still be safe
No longer feels like home
And you understand they don’t believe
But why can’t they just leave you alone?
Oh have I ever had that nightmare
Where my heart keeps breaking,
But I can’t wake,
& it’s taking all I’ve got not to fight them
I’m on my knees, crying out,
“Please, Lord, release us”
We’ve surveyed your rugged cross
Don’t do us like Jesus
Suppose some senators decide
Your worship is obscene?
All-ages Sunday service
Suddenly’s a felony
And you’re not sure if it’s safe to wear a cross
Or pause to pray
Do you teach your kids in secret?
Do you tell them to be brave?
Will you risk losing your children
To expose them to the faith?
Do you cry and pace in anger?
Do you plead Amazing Grace?
There’s gotta be a way we can all be free
I promise not to tread on you,
If you don’t tread on me
Can you wake me from this nightmare?
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6. |
Wounded Astronaut
03:40
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I’ve got a highlight reel of all the times
I made somebody cry
As a selfish, reckless, less invested friend than what I came by
Some bad ideas about what loving is
Left an awful residue
Ain’t no way for me to unring all the bells I rang in my youth
Oh, the women I have loved
And left injured in the shadow of
My childhood dysfunctions playing out in real time
Were that when I was younger
I could’ve put to use my wonder
To imagine better ways a healthy partner is defined
Oh the women I have loved and the wounds I left behind
I thought the well-drawn line between our clothes,
Meant our brains were different kinds
I could not relate because the subtle shape of theirs
Was not the same as mine
I was insensitive and hyper sensitive,
A duality not lost on me
I thought that love was just these feelings
With no regard for what a lover needs
Oh, the women I have loved
And left injured in the shadow of
My childhood dysfunctions playing out in real time
Were that when I was younger
I could’ve put to use my wonder
To imagine better ways a healthy partner is defined
Oh the women I have loved and the wounds I left behind
I finally got myself a therapist
I was such a little wounded astronaut
Using women like accessories
Mirrors to reflect my broken parts
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7. |
Carry You Down
02:28
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I’ll carry you down there
When you wanna go
I’ll stop my choring
If you’ll feel less alone
If I’m doing the dishes
Throw me a rag to dry my hands
I’ll carry you down
And carry you up again
I’ll carry you down there
I know that you’re afraid
So when you need to go down there, baby
Get to calling out my name
If I’m out in the garden
With soil covered hands
I’m gonna carry you down
& carry you up again
I’ll carry you down there
When you need to look around
In search of an answer,
To a question you’ve not found
And even if I am sleeping,
Shake me awake and take my hand
I’ll carry you down,
Carry you up again
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8. |
Socialte Blues
03:15
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Settle down there on the sofa, baby
Poor yourself a glass of cav-sav too
I found some Etta Baker records at a yard sale
And I wanna play ‘em for you
If I catch you humming along
Even if you’re getting the melody wrong
I still want to stay up all night long making out of tune songs with you
I know you been wearing a lot of pleasant faces lately
I’m sure your battery is low
So we don’t have to talk or even look at one another
We can keep tonight quiet and slow
But if I catch you humming along
And you bat them pretty eyelashes and yawn
Oh baby, I’m bound to just keep carrying on making out of tune songs with you
Won’t you just settle in and get cozy, darlin’
Let me rub your feet and up your legs for a few
You just breathe and let Ms. Reid’s piedmont picking
Wash away them socialite blues
And if I catch you humming along
In an oversized band tee with no makeup on
Honey, I’m gonna sit here till the break of dawn making out of tune songs with you
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9. |
Rotations
04:29
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Isley Dale is balanced, flexing talent on a chair
Looks at me in between locks of golden hair
Improvising wordless harmonies to all my songs
Grabs a ukulele and begins to strum along
And I know it goes fast
Everybody says that
It’s just a thing you’re supposed to say
But it’s real
And you can’t know how it feels
Until you’re well on your way
How many rotations am I gonna get with you?
To share with you the wisdom & magic spells I have accrued?
All the laughter and the longing,
Writing down or not recalling
Bad jokes & silly drawings
On any misadventure you can choose
When I’m gone, you’ll carry on & carry all that there is left of me with you
Now Isley’s in the backyard with fists of Dandelion
Mixing potions up in mason jars with mint and wild violet
Were that I could trap that laughter in a vial around my neck,
Save it for the hard times so that I could open it
‘Cause I know it goes fast
Everybody says that
It’s on every fellow parents lips
But it’s true, and it’s coming fast for you
That sweet and beautiful eclipse
And I know that you are not me
I would never ask you to be
You are more than I could honestly ever have expected to be true
But when I’m gone, you’ll carry on
& carry all that there is left of me with you
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10. |
Plot of Land
03:59
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Nobody wants to work no more
For 15 dollars sweeping floors
When there ain’t a line,
You gotta find chores to do
cause the boss has a tizzy
If you don’t look busy
Even though you can’t afford the rent in this city
when you punch the clock,
There’s just another job waiting for you
On minimum wage, you can’t afford food
Or utility bills but they’re still coming due
And there just ain’t time to dine at home these days
What if we had soil and midnight oil?
We could soak tea leaves when the water boils
They say to grow where you’re planted
But we wasn’t handed no garden either ways
So baby I’m gonna find us a plot of land
With a little house to put a family in
And blueberry bushes I’ll prune to bloom for you
We’ll plant pecan trees up & down the drive
And sugar ‘em up come winter time
Make cakes for dates with friends when they pull through
We’re gonna finally get planted & grow on this planet too
Now, there’s senators in every state
Seeking new bigotry to legislate
If you can’t win a seat, then you gotta cheat to get it done
Yeah this worlds all wrong and we don’t belong
But, baby, we’re making us a better one
And it ain’t just us with a heart full of justice
It’s tough but it’s catching on
Baby I’m gonna find us a plot of land
With a little house to put a family in
And blueberry bushes I’ll prune to bloom for you
We’ll plant pecan trees up & down the drive
And sugar ‘em up come winter time
Trace this state with grace before we’re through
We’re gonna finally get planted & grow on this planet too
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11. |
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There was a child limp on the pavement
Like a ragdoll in the rubble there
I want to reach through this vignette
to pet the softness of his hair
He was a child, man
Just a child- I can almost hear him laughing now
I would give ten years at least of mine
If it bring him back somehow
I saw him on the TV, through a smokescreen
He was a prop on CNN
Might’ve never seen him if I’m honest,
If I saw that clip again
When I start to get the night sweats, my forehead wet
With the stress of that memory
I hardly can recall it now,
But my body measures it for me
The muscles still remember what we saw when we were young
Honey wherever we’re going, we’ll take where we come from
And I see him when I’m sleeping, but his face is like my sons
Under Palestinian soil
Dust & shrapnel in his lungs
Oh my God, what have we done? What have we done?
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12. |
White Mule, Black Man
02:59
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When the fair hit town
The folks came down with pockets full of jingling change to spend
Kids with disabilities sold by their families
Learning how to hustle down bees’n
They’d joke and rhyme, drop hat lines
While the locals jeer and chew
Smoke cigarettes at sun rise,
And then sleep ’til the afternoon
But if the mule don’t wake when the circus gate
Starts forming lines again
Well, a white mules curse means more round here
Than the last words muttered by murdered Black Men
It was sometime in the late 1800’s when the circus come to Knoxville
They had a flying trapeze and some clowns but the draw was a rare white mule
And the elders said the thing fell dead and cursed the land in turn
Made the businesses sensitive to unexpected instances where occasionally they would burn
When you are in possession and authority of a brick and mortar store,
It is not good for it to catch on fire
Now, Maurice, he was a sweet young man
With coffee skin, dawning a costly grin
Bastard son of a politician
Even known to have a handful of white girlfriends
He was not well loved by the city bulls
Or fools like Andy White
So that gang framed him for murder
Pulled him out of bed in the middle of the night
But if the Tennessee River runs red with blood
‘Till the city runs white again
Well, a white mules curse means more round here
Than the last words muttered by murdered Black Men
It was in 1919 that the riot started in Knoxville, Tennessee
The white folk wanted a lynching so they burned city hall on what is now called market street
And the National Guard got called in and set up down in the Bowery
Joined the mob putting bullets into Black Knoxvillians or chasing them out of the city
It’s disgusting isn’t it?
To think that Maurice Mayes’ last words
Were stopped by the executioner, one last act of inhumanity
But they’s white folks worried then that a mule
Had cursed their businesses to cyclical calamity
No, Knoxville is haunted by ghosts
Tethered by a cycle of inaction
As long as a white mule’s curse means more
Than the last words muttered by murdered Black men
Wait, wait, wait
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Adeem the Artist Tennessee
Adeem is a seventh-generation Carolinian, a makeshift poet, singer-songwriter, storyteller, and blue-collar Artist.
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